i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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