I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
