he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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