How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
