I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
