just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
