i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
