12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
