i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
