Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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