The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The uberlube is also flammable
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
