I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
