look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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