glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my sisters under your porch take her home
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
