if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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