K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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