I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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