I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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