bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
