see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think i have herpe
just one?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
