dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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