I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
