I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
