Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
