i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
