i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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