Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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