okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
