dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
