You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
