i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
