im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
