so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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