his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
either way he was missing a nipple.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
