Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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