Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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