does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize