oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
