Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
