dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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