I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
