The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
