Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
