i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize