Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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