my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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