How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
