why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
