everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
