I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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