After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
