thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
