Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
