My sheets look like a crime scene.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
