We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
