I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
God, I missed his penis.
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