bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
