My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize